The responsibilities assigned to the maid of honor aren't quite what they used to be. In case you hadn't noticed, weddings are a lot different than they were when our mothers were young. Since most bridesmaids now are more girl squad than ransom bait, serving as the bride's No. 1 means you'll be on your toes in a very different way.

Maid of honor is a big job, and it starts long before the wedding day—pretty much the minute you're asked. Here's what you need to do in the months leading up to the main event.

Be There for the Bride

The maid of honor should walk a fine line of being supportive, not overwhelming. As the maid of honor, you know your friend, the bride, better than anyone else. After being asked, the maid of honor should initiate a conversation with the bride to discuss how best she can support her during the wedding-planning process. Be open about personalities and decide if the bride will delegate and ask for help or if the maid of honor should periodically check in and offer support without being prompted.

Discuss the level of involvement and support upfront and be mindful of relationships the bride may need to navigate with family.

Don't Forget to Have Fun

While your primary responsibility to the bride is to lend an extra set of hands, don't forget to pencil in some fun, too. From an afternoon spent getting mani-pedis to a full-blown girls' night out, the bride is first and foremost your best friend, and that's the role you should take most seriously during the planning process. The most important thing to remember is, as the maid of honor, you are tasked with supporting and loving your friend unconditionally.

Order Your Dress on Time

The last thing you want is to find out your dress won't arrive by the wedding day. Be sure to order it as soon as you can so that it arrives early for alterations and quality time in your closet.

Serve as the Point of Contact

Absorb as much wedding information as you can, and let the other bridesmaids, the bride's family members, and even guests turn to you with any questions they may have. This will save the bride a lot of time and the stress of responding to text messages and emails about where and when events are taking place.

Plan the Bachelorette Party

Get ready to lead the charge when it comes to planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party. From reaching out to family members and bridesmaids to helping with the nitty-gritty of planning and keeping everyone's budgets in mind, you'll quickly become the bonafide expert party planner during the wedding process. Plan a bachelorette party that you know the bride will love and enjoy. Don't feel pressure to create an event just to be social media worthy.

Prepare a Wedding Survival Kit

For every wedding event you attend, bring along a pack of bridesmaid essentials like Advil, Band-Aids, hair ties, safety pins, and other last-minute mini-emergency items that are frequently needed.

Keep Track of Gifts Received

If the bride decides to open gifts at her bridal shower, you'll want to be sure to keep track of who gave her what. One often overlooked responsibility, that the bride will really appreciate, is keeping a list of who gave what at the bridal shower, so that the bride can easily write thank-you notes.

Prepare a Speech for the Reception

Some brides opt to have only family members give speeches at their receptions. As the maid of honor, you should always be game to deliver a speech—and not embarrass her during it. Start jotting down ideas months before the wedding and then spend a few weeks before the big day finessing it and putting everything together.

Offer to Pack for the Honeymoon

If the bride is overwhelmed the week before her wedding, offer to help her out with any last-minute items on her to-do list, such as packing her honeymoon suitcase or running to the store for an extra bikini or bottle of sunscreen.

Savor Every Moment

Your role should be to keep the bride as calm as possible by providing emotional support. Weddings are an emotional time. A bride designates her maid or matron of honor as her most cherished confidant to share in all the emotions of planning and celebrating a wedding. Alternatively, you'll also want to help the bride relish in all the excitement. Keep the energy up by popping a bottle of Champagne while getting ready and having a toast with the entire bride squad before the ceremony.

Make Sure the Bride Remembers to Eat

Throughout the day–and certainly, before she leaves the bridal suite—you should check in periodically to see if the bride needs something to nibble on. While she may be too excited to think about food, a protein-rich snack will help fend off hunger pains.

Assist the Mother of the Bride

Don't forget about the mother of the bride. From lending a hand with her hair and makeup to shuttling her water, snacks, and sips of Champagne, the mom of the bride has needs, too. If you or the bride suspect that she may, err, get in the way of things, be sure to have a list of backup plans to keep her busy. Activities may include greeting arriving guests, relaxing with her friends for a pre-ceremony cocktail, or doing a final walk-through to ensure all the décor is set.

Pitch in With Social Media

The bride will likely want the morning of her wedding to be as relaxed and unplugged as possible. Check with her first, of course, but this may be a good opportunity to snap behind-the-scenes shots of the Champagne toasts, happy tears, and even the moment she slips on her dress. The maid of honor can help keep the celebration going by posting and tagging on social media. The bride usually isn't able to snap photos on the wedding day.

Don't Let the Bride and Her Partner Cross Paths

Help the bride out by keeping an eye out for her partner if they're following the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony. Touch base with the wedding planner or coordinator to make sure the two don't cross paths before the dedicated moment. If the bride and her spouse opt to exchange gifts ahead of the wedding, do them a favor by making the exchange swift and smooth.

Help the Bride Get Dressed

It's no small task to assist the bride as she gets into possibly the most expensive and elaborate gown she'll ever wear in her life. You'll want to be certain everything is laid out in advance, from undergarments to shoes to jewelry, so there's no last-minute scrambling to find those heirloom earrings or an extra pair of hose.

Provide Assistance in the Ladies Room

This isn't the most glamorous task, but the bride will appreciate it. She'll likely need a little help getting her dress, heels, and hair into the ladies room for a final go before the ceremony begins. It'll be a moment full of laughter and surely some tricky maneuvers, but it sure gives new meaning to BFF.

Serve as the Bride's Personal Stylist

Don't hesitate to jump right in and lend a hand during the getting-ready process, especially if the bride doesn't have a planner or stylist to assist. From steaming last-minute wrinkles to making sure the veil is perfectly placed, there's no shortage of details to keep an eye out for.

Have Your Hair and Makeup Plan Ready

Arrive on the wedding day with your beauty look already approved by the bride and have example photos for the stylists. That way, you can guide other members of the bridal party on how they should look to help move the whole process along.

Take Care of the Bouquet

Once the bride walks down the aisle, help her out by volunteering to hold her bundle of blooms. After she says "I do," you can give the bouquet back for her to hold as she walks up the aisle.

Keep the Bride Hydrated

As the maid of honor, you'll want to keep the bride hydrated from morning until the last dance. Be sure to check with the bride for her preference—sparkling or still—and remind her to take a few sips of H2O throughout the day. Doing so will keep her energy up and ward off any hangovers that could interfere with the morning-after brunch.

Round Up Friends and Family for the Wedding Photos

Trying to gather family members to take posed shots before or after the ceremony can get hectic. Offer to be an extra hand in moving the process along.

Dance With the Bride

You've made it to the reception when hopefully all the planning stress has melted away. Now it's time to celebrate on the ballroom floor—grab the bride for plenty of boogying to your favorite jams. Selfies welcome.

Previous Article Next Article